Lessons Learned

The feeling of not having enough, whether it be true or not, can be a real show stopper for your personal self-worth, your business, your creativity, and joy. I know this feeling well, scarcity existed in my household, even though we had food to eat.

123rf.com/lizard

123rf.com/lizard

We wore hand me down clothing from the older ones, and I could feel the stress from my parents about whether they would have enough to pay the bills. My mothers face lined with worry alot of the time, wore heavy on my spirit.

Now what can be even more disturbing, is to see people with plenty of wealth, yet they aren’t happy.  Wealth can even breed selfishness, and hoarding. I know within us is the ability to cultivate and create from a place of complete and utter despair.

I would even venture to say that letting go of scarcity has to occur from withing.  To trust at a deep level that we can create what we need, and our happiness and good will towards others is not dependent on whether we can pay our bills or not, is a practice.

Alot of airdressers as a rule, experience plenty of scarcity. Not enough clients, not enough money to feel ease, not enough training, not enough time, not enough…fill in the blank. Why is this? I think most of us are too busy to stop long enough to feel the pain, or hear the truth, and look at our lives honestly.

In 2005, I learned that I had signed a sub prime loan document for our modest house in an area of the Bay Area that is considered to be the “hood.” Now for me, I like the mixed ethnicities in our neighborhood, and although our home is small, it was the first house I purchased.

Five years into the loan, the letters started to come.  It wasn’t till then that we realized our broker at the last minute had changed what kind of loan we were able to get, and switched us into a subprime loan.  I didn’t catch it!   We were devestated, and this was very difficult on my husband and my relationship. Our payments went from $1200. a month to $4000.

Nothing short of devastating, and all the while, needing to look like I had it together, and see clients and keep our relationship in tact, and keep positive around our daughter. This was difficult to recover from. Not only that, but my personal debt was so high, that the professional advice I recieved from a financial planner, was to file Chapter 13. This was one of my all time lows.

After a year or so, tons of paper work, and many phone calls and case managemnt representatives after another, finally we were able to get our loan adjusted. Our payments went back down to what we could afford.

[tweetthis]”Scarcity is learned. Let’s help each other trust again.” REBECCA BEARDSLEY [/tweetthis]

My husband and I have repaired our relationship over time, and we are stronger for it, and I opened my two chair studio with the help of clients, and business is thriving, and my personal finances continue to grow. Even though my home is modest, and I live in the “hood”, I live in one of the most expensive places in the country.

Unless you have grown up with a healthy relationship to money, and your parents taught you how to save, you can’t help but learn habits that don’t serve you. It is easy for our desires take us out of reality, because really we don’t have to look far to see what could be for any of us. So who wants to feel that? In our industry, the needing to be ahead of the curve is a pressure felt.

I am convinced hairdressers can build a lasting, loyal clientele, make and save money, and be creative. We do not have to live the life of starving artist, or an artist in debt. We are business people, we need to think of ourselves as such, and learn what we don’t know. Seek advice, sometimes it may be wrong, but you keep on going, and search out what makes sense to you.

I have a spreadsheet that I work from that lists all my expenses for the month. We have to know where we stand, otherwise it stays muddled in our head. If we can get it on paper, we actually have more success in paying debt off, and knowing how much we need to make. It gets us real focused on the goal. Write that number down every day, and you will gradually see a positive change without much effort.

Track it for a month, than six months. And share your results.  I am convinced had I a community of people I could speak honestly about money, this would have saved a lot of money, and heartache.

We can learn from each other, if we are willing to be honest, and commit to growth.  Let’s do this together.
Question: What have you learned about money, and what were your early messages?  Share your answers on Facebook, or Twitter.