Life presents beautiful convergences and happenstance along its pathways. What happens when you are a budding or seasoned stylist and reach a defining moment? Who comprises your support system? Who provides advice to you at critical stages?
Most people turn to their parents at pivotal junctures in life because it is natural for children to look for parental approval. After all, parents guide their children from birth onwards and know not only who their children are as adults, but the person’s inner child.
When should you seek parental advice and how big of a role must it play in your decision?
Obviously, don’t search for parental advice if you they were abusive, absent, or you are otherwise estranged. If you have a healthy relationship, run the situation past them. Parents are fantastic at linking your best interests with your course of action. They tend to support what is best for their child; it’s just an instinct. If your parents play a financial role within your life, you have a little less wiggle room.
[tweetthis]”There comes a time when you realize your parents may know better.” REBECCA BEARDSLEY[/tweetthis]
They are also individuals themselves with their own attitudes, traditions, and values. There comes a point in many people’s lives where they build their own identity, irregardless of what an older generation finds acceptable. Parental advice carries more weight when it’s linked to financial ties or in certain cultures, but you are still in control of your destiny. After all, where there’s a will, there’s a way!
How do you approach your parents for advice?
As with looking for advice from anyone, approach them at a quiet, convenient time. It’s never an idea to ask your parents, say, whether they think you need to buy your dream home while on the middle of a crowded interstate. Pick a time when people aren’t stressed out from external circumstances, so they focus on what you’re saying and participate in the conversation.
The day has come when you find yourself facing one of the many types of crossroads that hair stylists go through. And chances are, everyone has something to say about it!
At any turning point in your life, you friends, family, and partner will have a lot of opinions about how you should proceed. Some may offer helpful suggestions, while others may drag you down with criticism about your new direction. When so many people are offering you such different ideas, it’s crucial that you know how to filter through their advice and learn who to listen to.
When someone gives you advice, whether you like it or not, ask yourself these three questions:
Does he/she mean well?
If a close friend gives you advice, you can generally know that they mean well. But if someone else gives you advice, especially when it’s counter-intuitive, you really need to think about their motivations. A co-worker might tell you not to take a promotion because they want it. Likewise, a friend might be against your new creative direction because it doesn’t mesh with their own preferences. You just need to make sure that these people are giving you advice to help YOU, not to serve their own interests.
[tweetthis]”Filtering through the advice of others is part of the process of finding your truth.” REBECCA BEARDSLEY[/tweetthis]
Does this advice fit with my lifestyle?
This is an especially important question to ask when you are facing a business crossroads. If you really need the money but a friend is urging you to take a pay cut to pursue a new creative direction, they might not know your financial situation. Or maybe a family member is urging you to go down a new path in your relationship that you aren’t comfortable with from a moral or religious standpoint. So when you receive advice, make sure that it fits your lifestyle in the depth that you know it, not how others perceive your current situation.
Has this person been right before?
A lot of times, the advice you take depends on who is giving it. Someone who has lead you astray in the past probably isn’t the best person to listen to again. On the other hand, a good friend who gives wise advice is a great person to listen to when you are making a big change in your life. Though it’s important to give people a second chance, you need to decide who you trust most and listen to those people.
With these three questions, you will be fully prepared to take the next step in your career knowing that you have taken advantage of everyone’s advice. Remember, career and lifestyle changes are about you, not about who your family or friends want you to be. Take their advice when it fits you, but never change who you are to fit them.