Even The World Gets Stuck In The Mud
Have you ever felt stuck creatively or in your career and wondered what to do? C’mon, tell the truth. Even the world gets stuck in the muck. Have you seen the news lately? Sometimes when you get in the daily routine of serving clients, it is easy to lose sight of yourself and what juices you, boredom sets in, and yet you need to pay your bills, you need to keep turning out haircuts. You like your career choice generally, but sometimes you just can’t even give a good haircut . Then you say to yourself, “Man, I’m tired. Maybe I just need to find another career.”
Stop. Hold everything. Every experienced hairstylist, every top stylist, every icon in the beauty industry has experienced some of these feelings at various times of their career. Don’t worry. Help is on its way. Five beauty industry experts share what they do to counteract or confront this feeling, and where they focus their attention.
You Do Not Have To Walk Alone
What do YOU want? What would make your lives easier? Let’s discuss how to get powerful results in your life now, and how you can get the help you need to grow you and your business. This is not the path for the faint of heart. Are you ready to roll up your sleeves?
The overall mission of this blog and website is to bring you content that will make you pause for a moment and think about your life as it is, your career, your relationships, where you would like to be in a week, a year, three years, five years, 10 years and beyond. Consider where you are right now, on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Think about the areas of your life that work, and those that don’t.
What areas of your career can use some tune up? Does it feel like you can sustain where you are, what you are doing for the rest of your career? Or, have you thought of doing something else with your life, because your body hurts, or you are tired, or you are unable to pay your bills? Are you content in your relationships inside the salon and outside? Do you vacation, do you make the money you need to live and save? Are you having enough fun, or too much fun and not enough planning?
These are hard questions to answer honestly. However, unless we are willing to tell the truth to ourselves, how can we ever change our situation. You got to love us hairstylists, we are so passionate about what we do, that we can overlook the details of life, the nitty gritty stuff that we would rather have someone else handle, like finances, or health appointments, or exercise, etc. That is if you are passionate! What if you’ve lost the passion, and you are not paying attention to these issues? So much of what we do as hairstylists is show work, and we get accolades all the time for what we do, so the mundane, is just that, MUNDANE. You keep pushing it away.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, then stay with me here. With this community, and in this work, we are throwing all these issues in the mix, and creating articles that will help you in these areas. We offer up ideas, techniques, ways in which you can make changes in your life. The kind of hairdressing skills most of us were not taught in beauty school, and the kind of changes that can make your life work, should you choose. The process of uncovering your life goals and dreams requires a bit of surrendering, it takes trust, it takes doing the work, and following suggestions. One tiny change at a time can start moving you in the direction of the dream you have for your life.
Some of you were not taught, or allowed to dream, nor get help when you needed it. But look around you, look at the industry and you will see a lot of people struggling to make their business thrive. Don’t be deceived by their looks. How are you supposed to do it all by yourself? Maybe you’ve lost your way around depending on each other, and in fact you becoming hyper competitive, doubting yourselves, a bitterness grows inside, isolation sounds better than dealing with the demons in your life. If you can’t dream it, it won’t happen. Dream larger than life, beyond where you thought you might ever be. Unless you can allow yourself to imagine it, it will not happen. You can learn to dream, but you must deal with what is in the way.
[tweetthis]”Dream larger than life, beyond where you think is possible” REBECCA BEARDSLEY[/tweetthis]
I’ve dedicated my life the hairdressing industry for over 25 years, and absolutely love it. Did I always? The answer is no. The path led me away from the beauty industry and back again towards a few times, but about 15 years into it, I discovered my passion for the craft, and an upmost respect for those who came before me. Sometimes it’s necessary to leave what is comfortable in order to become more of who you are.
Each of you need to find your own way, research mentors, find those who are willing to help. Hire a coach, it is a business and personal necessity, and let us be clear, coaching is not therapy. It is a process in which a coach listens to what you are saying and helps you dig deeper into the areas where you are stuck. Makes sense, right? The aware hairstylist is a superb listener, and so she needs to be heard as well, but it’s not kvetching.
In the Forbes article, You Don’t Have To Go It Alone: The Benefits Of A Business Coach, Brittany kavetching is the co-founder of ‘ZinePak, a custom publication company, and she says,
“In my opinion, nothing could be farther from the truth. Our business coach, Marla Tabaka, has been as integral to our success as anyone on our team. And while the role of a business coach is difficult to define, I suspect anyone who has ever had a good coach will tell you that the role is indispensable.
I opened my studio ShineForth Salon and am beginning my third year, to finally serve clients in a way that respected myself, and offered them the kind of experience I knew I had to deliver.
I hired coaches.
Now that I’m settled there, the larger body of work is obvious, to reach out and mentor hairstylists, barbers, all beauty industry professionals all over the world.
I hire coaches.
By setting goals and achieving them, by dealing with what is in the way, this is one step along the way of how you can get powerful results in your life now. Follow through. Ask for help.
Helping other hairstylists live their lives by design, to find or rediscover their mission. I want you to live a healthy, fulfilling, deeply meaningful, and fun life. Develop the skills to make your life work, and that of a master, make money, save money, build relationships that sustain you. Each time you set a new goal and achieve it, your mission becomes clearer.
With supporting hairstylists in mind, I’ve created this hub for those who seek a better way of doing things, a more sustainable, meaningful, and impactful career, and life. This hub is also for you if you desire community, and need support in growing your life. Take your job of getting clients in the chair and out into a vocation, where lasting happiness and peace of mind can grow, and ultimately make you more money.
Look around this site, and see what is there waiting for you. I invite you to be part of this community of hairdressers that are committed to personal growth, and ready to elevate not only themselves, but the profession, and the people around them. This is the place for you, if you are willing to roll up your sleeves and grow and you are hungry for support. I can’t wait to get to know you. Become a subscriber, email me your questions. Set up a powerful coaching session today. Let’s look at how you can get powerful results in your life now, receiving help is the first step.
This site will change now and again as I deepen my own work. My next big dream is to add a weekly podcast, once a month live webinars, and a library of suggested reading. Stay tuned. Please let me know what topics you would like to hear discussed, and what you need help working through.
I look forward to hearing about your dreams.
Make a list right now, of the issues you want to deal with and if you would like to end the isolation, click here.
Watch this awesome TedTalk on vulnerability.
if you would like help finding what matters to you, click here.
Debacles occur in life. For some it may seem like they can’t do anything right. Life falls apart right before their very eyes once in a while, more times than one cares to tell the truth about, or so much, that they are filled with more doubt that chips away at their confidence. How about you? How you act or react when you’ve done something wrong can have a powerful impact on your psyche, your career, and your life. However, a different response is possible.
I remember phases of my career feeling doomed for failure. Have you ever experienced that? You want to either climb in bed and pull the covers over your head, or you get angry at yourself and those around you, or you cave inside, and say, “Well, I won’t try that again.” You give up. These experiences can debilitate us, make us run for the hills, or, they become a point of understanding when we can see what we are made of. We can learn resilience.
It didn’t help that I already I felt self-conscious about the family I grew up in, seven kids and blue collar family. My great grandfather was a cotton picker, and both sides of my family basically lived in poverty, and my grandfather on one side was a raging alcoholic, and the other worked as a dishwasher in a fancy hotel in San Francisco. My mom went to school till the 3rd grade, and my dad till the 10th. Only one of my sisters out of 7 has a college degree.
My family felt like a debacle. We always had food on the table and hand me down clothes, and presents under the Christmas tree. But somehow, I felt unimportant in this family, and unlike the rest, sadness and overwhelm with the chaotic environment left me mute and in my room. Everybody needed more attention than what they could get. So I started building my own inner life, and I wanted out in the worst way, so I left at 17 years old, and never looked back.
We’ve all got a story, a legacy. It’s made us who we are, and when we look back we can see, either we became stronger for it, or we were defeated.
Now, let’s look at what is happening in the salon. Poor color choices, clients choosing to go somewhere else for their haircut because you continue to leave a wet towel around their neck, when they’ve told you they don’t like it a million times. Or, your coworkers harass you, or the salon loses their lease and you all have to find another place to work.
Maybe you’re learning haircutting, and you just can’t get a handle on the complexity of hair color, and you repeat past formulas that don’t work. Maybe you’re not succeeding in the apprentice program. Or, maybe each time you make a mistake you are completely hard on yourself. Or worse yet, the last salon let you go. Whatever the circumstance, the salon life is fraught with these “circumstances”.
[tweetthis]”We have this moment. Breathe in, and breathe out.” REBECCA BEARDSLEY[/tweetthis]
What you need to learn is resilience, and decide whether you are going to pull yourself up. When we are feeling low about life, ourselves, and disappointment and anger come up, feel them. FEEL THEM! When we do, our senses come to life, we feel new levels of appreciation for the simplest of pleasures, like a walk in nature, or planting a garden, or talking with a friend. A quiet strength develops inside you, a desire to better yourself and your life, a determination to make something of yourself awakens.
Food For Thought
[Losing: Builds Character or Sucks? The Wizards Speak On It] by Kyle Weidie
Your debacles lead you to awe-inspiring legacies that you learn from, they lead you to a resilience you never knew, nor could know without them. In the research done by Donald Meichenbaum Ph.D., the Researcher Director at the Melissa Institute in Miami, Florida, states that, “Resilience reflects the ability to:
Beat the odds
Transform one’s emotional and physical pain into something “positive”
Evidence a relatively stable trajectory of healthy functioning across time
Move from being a victim to being a “survivor” and even to becoming a “thriver”
Be “stress hardy” adapting to whatever life sends, and for some, even evidencing “post-traumatic growth”.” In other words, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
Now granted, nobody wants to keep on losing, or failing, or having hardships. But when you realize your debacles lead you to awe-inspiring legacies, you begin to reach others, you become relatable to all, your life takes on a deeper meaning. Meichenbaum goes on to say, “Resilience is more accessible and available to some people than for others, but everyone can strengthen their resilience.”
Meichenbaum talks about developing these skills will help you develop your ability to handle these debacles and build resilience. Lean on social relationships, personal control, experience positive emotions, and self-regulate negative ones, flexibility, and lean into problem solving.
One thing I grew well aware of in my trials, is that the seasons change, and every one of us goes through a dark night of the soul, and deep transformation occurs. Our struggles make us come to the mirror, face to face with ourselves and grow our purpose and cultivate meaning. This meeting is where our job, our relationships to ourselves and others becomes a practice in developing ourselves, when we are willing to do the work.
Life is still very mysterious, and full of unpredictability, and still, we can become better hair designers, better colorists, better hair stylists, and better people.
Question: What debacles made you change from victim to a learner? Share your answer on Facebook, or Twitter.
How You Can Learn From Them
Have you ever worked next to a hairdresser who has to be better than everybody else? You know the type I am sure. They are to cool for school. They have enough magnetism to draw the salt from the ocean. You hear them, before you see them.
They breeze by as they walk in and everything is perfect, their outfit is on point, hair is styled, nails are painted. They charm their way through the salon, turning heads as they go. It looks like life hasn’t touched them with any adversity, no scuffed shoes for them. And you wonder what is up with that? (more…)